What we all want, but can’t seem to get.

What is the one thing that you want most out of life?

For most people in a recent survey of 700 people, it was Happiness.

So I ask you this, Why is it so impossible to sustain something that should come naturally?

Well, from the time we’re born to wherever you are now, we’re told that happiness = success. If you go to school, get good grades, go to college, you’ll get a great career that sustains $100k a year. Then you can  have a nice big house with a fancy car and a perfect family. That’s the American Dream right?…

No, we’re wrong. We’re all wrong – and that’s what’s wrong with this country. Were all chasing after the wrong kind of happiness.

So what happens when those “things” are so far out of our reach?

We tend to beat ourselves up for not being good enough, we feel the weight of the failure on our shoulders because we want more out of life. Whether its work, family, relationships, etc. If it’s not up to society standards, then it’s wrong. IT’S A NEVER ENDING CYCLE…

As humans we long for what we don’t have. It’s human nature to want, but what we don’t realize is the grasp that certain wants & materialistic “things” have on us. It goes much further than just acquiring or having the object, but how we let these things consume our lives.

Happiness, truly does come from inside.

If you constantly search for what’s on the outside, you’ll always be chasing an object. As a result, happiness is constantly out of reach. Now don’t get me wrong, these things can bring happiness; however it’s only temporary. The Key point being that if everything you’re searching for remains outside of you, you’ll always be scrambling and chasing – and it won’t ever change unless we make a change in ourselves.

So how do we change?

Well first off, you can’t make someone change. It doesn’t matter how much you love someone or beg them to see their issues. A person will not change until they see a need for change. They alone, are the only ones who can make the change happen. They say the first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have one. Honestly, most people reading this right now probably have a certain person in mind. Not themselves.

So I’ll leave you with this…

Look in the mirror when you get home tonight and stare at yourself for 60 seconds. Don’t make faces or stand in admiration – but dig deep. Look into your own eyes and ask yourself, who am I? Don’t ask any one else this question, just you and the mirror image staring back at you. For 60 seconds. Re-evaluate how you’ve been living your life. Are you happy with it? If not, then you need something to change – and you’re the only one who can make that happen.

If you want the freedom to be happy whenever, then you must do what’s necessary. See, most of us want to be happy, but we’re not willing to put in the work. It’s true that change doesn’t happen over night. However if you’re tired of being bitter and unhappy then you’ll take my advice. After all, i was in your same position not too long ago.

First, you MUST be alone. I know this may be hard for some parents and busy-bees – But even if it’s just 5-10 minutes a day in the shower. Do what’s necessary. Not only for yourself but for your kids and family. Set the example for them so that you can save them from having to figure it out on their own. Self exploring is a beautiful process that needs to be practiced more – and to think you’ll most likely have a totally different outlook on life after one week of this process.

Second, go home. Not physically, but mentally go home to your childhood. Think about your parents, siblings, memories – whether bad or good. Dig deep and think about moments that shaped you into the character you are. Was there a time that someone may have hurt you? It probably made you very cynical or gave you low self-esteem.. I’m not telling you to relive these memories to bring tears to your eyes, but you must search within yourself for the moments in which brought you down in order to assess your internal issues.

Third, remember that you are a survivor. You’re still here aren’t you? Well, there’s a reason for that. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? I do. Every experience in life has a lesson to learn from. Lessons that will prepare you for your future, because your future is bright.

Fourth, and lastly but not least. Let go & let life in; because your story isn’t over yet. Let go of what was and look forward to what will be. The future is scary because it’s unknown – and people don’t like what they don’t understand. All of that debt, long hours at school or work, and the Nay-Sayers. Everything that weighs you down is just testing you. You will pass – but you must learn to let go. Your past, the anger, the pain and resentment you may feel, the more you hold on – the more you hurt yourself. So just remember; “Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” – Unknown

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